WHEN TO GO FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELLING?

There are two ways, usually, that a person looks for a counsellor Because a doctor says so- either because the person is showing mental health strain resulting in physical distress, stuck patterns of repeated physical ailments or showing emotional and mental functioning distress. The other is when a person feels they are caught in an unhealthy pattern of thoughts, behaviours and emotions and can’t seem to come out of it. The person can tell that they are not functioning to full capacity and that something internally is blocking them from either achieving success at work or emotional regulation or having deeply satisfying interpersonal relationships, living a deeply satisfied life. In the latter case, sometimes they are helped by family, friends or teachers or co-workers or bosses who encourage them to go for counselling. But the most important is the inner voice that says I NEED HELP. However mild or infrequent the voice, this is that part in us that is tired of suffering and wants us to live a more fulfilling life. This voice ideally should not be ignored. And if you are hearing it often, take a chance on yourself! Go for counselling. A third reason that not many people talk about, is when you get disturbing, recurrent dreams. A professional could help you understand your dreams and hence yourself, better.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COUNSELLING AND THERAPY?

While most of us may feel that talking about our problems with a parent or a sibling or a friend or teacher and getting help, is counselling, Professional counselling is different. A professional counsellor is a trained mental health professional, usually charging a fee! Professional Counsellors are trained in understanding the human mind, behaviours, emotions and are trained to rapport build with a client and slowly work on the issues presented by the client, that she wants to work on. While friends, parents, siblings may solve problems by advising solutions, professional counselling helps a client understand themselves and solve problems themselves. The professionalism comes not just from the training and handling of the client, but also in that the counsellor has no other relations with the client outside the clinic, making it easier for the client to confide in him/her. Therapies are modalities, or specialised ways of talking, exploring, questioning and also behavioural interventions, which are used by counsellors in their counselling process. These modalities can be CBT, DBT, EMDR, Person Centric, Psychodynamic, Psychoanalytic, Somatic Sensing or Experiencing etc… You can choose a counsellor based on the therapy modalities used. But all professional counsellors in the mental health field have a therapeutic approach, and hence can be called therapists, I feel.

WHAT IS EMDR THERAPY?

The human brain has an inherent capacity to process negative memories and help us bounce back from failures and setbacks and injury, to be able to live a fulfilling life. This is called adaptive living. We usually forget such events or remember them without feeling distressed about them. They no longer have any hold on our lives. In short, the past events do not interfere with our present living. However, when there are events in our life that are very deep or impactful, very scary or continually distressful, these events, - usually termed traumatic events – are difficult for the brain to process on its own. EMDR – Eye Movement Desentisation and Reprocessing – is a model developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro wherein through some modalities, the brain is helped to process the negative past events, so that the emotional charge of the incident reduces and you feel freer from past baggage and more capable to handle the present stress.

WHY SR CITIZENS NEED COUNSELLING?

Old age is an age of transition. Transition from working to a retired life, from caring for children to perhaps living away from them, from making friends to maybe losing friends, from having a healthy life with energy and hope to perhaps a time of chronic illness and a sense of doom. How an elderly navigates these transitions – how prepared they are for these transitions, were these transitions expected and managed, or were they sudden and unexpected, do they have support in these transitions or perceive themselves to be alone – can make a big difference in how they live their senior lives. Mostly it is seen that senior citizens grapple with the following problems in their old age:

• 1. Loneliness and need for companionship
• 2. Fear of losing others, fear of dying
• 3. Disheartenment due to living away from children
• 4. Grief of losing family and friends
• 5. Fear of financial insecurity, physical injury
• 6. Sadness and frustration due to chronic illnesses
• 7. Sense of having lived a life that was not satisfactory

All of which can lead to old-age depression, sadness, anxiety, panic attacks, anger issues, etc. Some of these emotional issues can also interfere in the medical management of physical and chronic illnesses as well. Past trauma memories can also re-surface in old age and may be difficult to manage since the earlier coping or avoidance skills of youth – for instance, regular work, routine, friends, job, raising children – are no longer available. Counselling for senior citizens is therefore important to help them transition into this age, with support and comfort.